Decoding You
Sexual Health
Sexual Health exploration:
We get it, this is a lot of information that might be super new. Here are two activities to help you explore your Sexual Health a bit more.
Please remember that these activities are to help YOU.
Take your time, do them, or don't do them. It's totally up to you.
Give yourself permission to embody and engage in pleasure centered learning without judgment. There is power and liberation in connecting with and owning one's pleasure and sexual health.
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Sexual Health Timeline - Create a personal timeline that is focused on your own sexual health journey. Begin when you were born and add notable experiences along the continuum correlated to your age at the time of the experience. This can include both positive and challenging life experiences. Externalizing and reflecting on your notable sexual health experiences supports introspection.
This introspection identifies personal experiences which are the foundation of your Sexual Sense of Self™.
Examples can include but are not limited to:
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Sexual education
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Sexual understandings
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Sexual experiences
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Bodily awareness
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Identity
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Sexual development
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Messages obtained or internalized
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Relationships
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Sexual Temperament Questionnaire - Complete the Sexual Temperament Questionnaire to get an idea of how sensitive your own brakes and accelerator are. This is intended to facilitate your own personal understanding of your internal sexual response mechanism
Sexual Temperament Questionnaire
Adapted from Nagoski, E. (2015). Come As You Are. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, Inc
Sensitivity to Turn-Offs (The Brake Pedal)
Select the number from the drop-down list that best describes you.
Sensitivity to Turn-Ons (The Gas Pedal)
Select the number from the drop-down list that best describes you.
Unless things are “just right,” it is difficult for me to become turned on
When I am sexually aroused, the slightest thing can turn me off.
I have to trust a partner to become turned on
If I am worried about taking too long to become aroused or to orgasm, this can interfere with my arousal
Sometimes I feel so “shy” or self-conscious during sex that I cannot become fully turned on
Often, just how someone smells can be a turn-on.
Seeing my partner doing something that shows their talent or intelligence, or watching them interacting well with others can make me very turned on.
Having sex in a different setting than usual is a real turn-on for me.
When I think about someone I find sexually attractive or when I fantasize about sex, I easily become turned on
Certain hormonal changes (e.g., my menstrual cycle) definitely increase my sex drive. (skip if not applicable)
I get very turned on when someone wants me sexually.
Write down your totals:
Total (out of 24 if all questions were answered): ______
Total (out of 20 if one question was skipped): ________
Let's Talk About Your Sexual Temperament Questionnaire Results!
Write down your Total (out of 20): ___________
Sensitivity to Sexual Inhibitors
(The Brake Pedal):
0-6: Low sensitivity to turn-offs.
You tend not to worry about your own sexual functioning, and body image issues usually don’t interfere too much with your sexuality. When you’re doing something sexual, you’re not easily distracted. You probably wouldn’t call yourself “sexually shy.” A lot of things can be sexual for you. One thing you might need to pay attention to is slowing down when you feel turned on.
7-13: Medium sensitivity to turn-offs.
You’re right in the middle. Whether your sexual brakes start pumping depends a lot on what is going on in your environment, in your mind, and in your life. Risky or new situations (e.g., new partner) may make you feel worried about your sexuality, shyness, or how easily distracted you are during sexual experiences. You are more likely to be turned on by low-risk situations and more familiar situations. You may also feel less sexual when you are stressed, anxious, or exhausted.
14-20: High sensitivity to turn-offs.
You’re pretty sensitive to turn-offs. You need a setting of trust and relaxation in order to get turned on, and it’s best if you don’t feel rushed or pressured in any way. You might be easily distracted from sex. High sensitivity to turn-offs, regardless of how sensitive you are to turn-ons, is the most strongly correlated factor with sexual problems. If this is you, pay close attention to what turns you on and turns you off so that you can create a comfortable environment that helps you feel comfortable being sexual.
Sensitivity to Sexual Excitors
(The Gas Pedal):
0-6: Low sensitivity to turn-ons.
You’re not so sensitive to turn-ons. You may need to make more of an effort to pay attention to turn-ons. New situations are less likely than familiar ones to be sexy to you. You may benefit from increasing stimulation (e.g., using sex toys) and a daily practice of paying attention to your everyday sensations (sexual or not). Lower sensitivity to turn-ons is associated with asexuality, so if you are very low you may resonate with some parts of the asexual identity.
7-13: Medium sensitivity to turn-ons.
You’re right in the middle. Whatever turn-ons you’re sensitive to probably depends on the context. In situations that are really romantic or really erotic, you readily tune into turn-ons. In situations that are really unromantic or really unertoic, it may be pretty hard for you to pay attention to sexual things. You may benefit from increasing things in your environment, your relationship, your mind, and your life that help you feel sexual.
14-24: High sensitivity to turn-ons.
You’re pretty sensitive to turn-ons, maybe even to things most of us aren’t generally very sensitive to, like smell and taste. A wide range of situations can be sexual for you, and new things may be really exciting. You may like having sex as a way to de-stress. You may want to pay attention to the ways you manage stress, so that you’re not de-stressing with only sex. Make sure you create lots of time and space for your partner; because you’re sensitive, you can get intense satisfaction from your partner’s pleasure, so you’ll both benefit!
